James F. X. Looram
"Jim"

Company D-1

During his twenty-year military career, he served two tours of duty in Vietnam as an advisor to a Vietnamese Army Infantry Battalion, an S-3 Operations Officer in the 7th Air Cavalry, and a senior officer in the theater headquarters (MACV) providing daily operational briefings to the MACV Command led by General Abrams. He spent the balance of his career in command, teaching and leadership development positions. He was awarded the Bronze Star, the Joint Service Commendation medal, the Vietnamese Gallantry Cross and the Meritorious Service medal. Jim was a Professor of Leadership at USMA West Point and would later run the Masters of Science program in organizational psychology at Chapman University. By the time he retired from the military, he had earned a doctorate in organizational behavior from NYU, and had completed the US Army's Command and General Staff College, the Race Relations Institute as well as the Organizational Effectiveness Training Course, of which he would later become the Director of Training. He brought all of this training to bear over the next 30 plus years, running a private consulting business focused on team-building coursework, leadership and diversity training and personal development retreats. He believed deeply in helping individuals to discover their best and most essential self, and that bringing this self into the professional sphere would result in both effectiveness and personal fulfillment.

He met his wife, née Mary Bellacosa, on a blind date arranged by his cousin Barbara. As the story goes, his cousin brought two girlfriends to visit West Point, and originally Jim was supposed to be paired up with the third young woman. But when he saw Mary from across the street, he knew in an instant that he had to go on that date with her. He crossed ahead of his fellow cadet to get to Mary first, and they stayed together for life. They would go on to forge a partnership in all things, to raise 5 children, to make a home in 6 states, and to grow and change beside one another throughout their lives. Jim always said that Mary was the only person he wanted to end every day with.

The growing Looram family was stationed at bases all over the country, but ultimately Jim spent most of his life between New York City and the Monterey Peninsula in California. Before his first deployment, he was sent with his wife and two young sons to the Defense Language Institute in Monterey in order to learn Vietnamese. He was first in his class. Besides providing him with new language skills, these three months would introduce Jim and Mary to the beauty of Northern California, where they would later settle for 20 years before returning to New York City in 1998.

Jim was a formidable man, and not at all uncomplicated. He was also incredibly charming, and deeply loyal and affectionate toward those he loved. He placed the highest of values on being a good listener, but true to his Irish heritage, he was an animated storyteller who enjoyed taking some colorful license. His frequent refrain was "All stories are true. Some of them actually happened." He was a perpetual intellectual and spiritual seeker, spending formative time at The Esalen Institute in Big Sur and also at an ashram in Nepal as part of a world tour taken when he turned fifty. In spite of his decorated military career, or perhaps precisely because of it, he would later proudly march in protest of the Iraq War in Washington. He ran five marathons and was an avid golfer, particularly enjoying his tee times with his friend and fellow veteran Phil Butler, his brother-in-law Ed Jacobsen and his children and grandchildren. After spending years as an amateur sculptor, he switched gears and took up abstract painting in the last decade of his life. He was tickled when he acquired what he called a "street peddler" license in order to participate as a vendor at art fairs around New York City where he sold many of his paintings and was ultimately represented and exhibited by a NYC gallery. He revelled in the chance to chat with all stripes of New Yorkers who passed by his stall and may have enjoyed the competitive rush of selling a painting even more than the painting itself. He was also giddily supportive of his wife Mary’s third act - an acting career she launched in her 60s, and liked to brag about his "model/actress trophy wife" with whom he was utterly besotted.

He died in New York City on January 4th of pancreatic cancer, just three weeks shy of his 80th birthday, in the loving embrace of his wife Mary, whom he still referred to as “my bride” until his last days. His entire extended family was together with him for the Christmas holiday.

We are heartbroken to have lost him, but comforted by the knowledge that we all carry so much of him with us forward into the world.

He is survived by his wife Mary, his children Patrick (Odile) of Bangkok, Mark of Hong Kong, Mary (Frank) of San Francisco, Sean (Karin) of Hong Kong, and Meaghan (Conrad) of Brooklyn, his grandchildren Charlotte, Tadhg, Quinn, Delaney, Mackenna, James, Daniel, Maeve and Ronan as well as a host of cousins, nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by his parents, James FX Looram Sr. and Mary Harden Looram, brother Eugene Looram and sister Mary Elizabeth Looram Berry.

He will be interred with military honors and a Catholic service at West Point in March, and a memorial celebration in Pacific Grove will follow. Condolences may be sent to Mary Looram, 2440 Broadway, Suite 122, New York, NY 10024. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Southern Poverty Law Center or the James FX Looram Fund at Santa Catalina School in Monterey, CA, which provides tuition assistance to children of military families. The family would like to express our enormous gratitude to the dedicated doctors, nurses and team of clinical trial caregivers at Weill Cornell Medicine for their compassionate care.

Walter B. Cooke Funeral Home

Assembly/Taps Memorial Article:

JAMES F. LOORAM

Cullum No.& 23674-1961 January 4, 2020 | Died in New York, NY
Interred in West Point Cemetery, NY

James Francis Xavier “Jim” Looram was a remarkable man who left an indelible impression on all those he met.

Jim was an Army Airborne Ranger, a decorated combat veteran, a Ph.D., a business owner, a published author, an exhibited artist, and, most important to him, a devoted husband of 57 years, a proud father of five and a doting grandfather of nine.

Born and raised in Queens, NY to Dr. James F.X. Looram and Mary Harden Looram, he graduated from Xavier, a high school in Manhattan whose mission was to prepare students to be “men for others.” So, it was a natural next step for him to choose a life of service to country by attending West Point.

Jim thoroughly embraced that service ethos at West Point. His activities ranged from Catholic Acolytes and Choir to the Dialectic Society. He participated in the Pistol Club, German Club, Ski Club, and Parachute Club.

His classmates looked to him to figure out how to enjoy life outside the Academy on the Spartan cadet pay. Organizing a tour of Germany and France in a rented VW with three of his classmates, Jim made sure that they came back with change in their pockets from the 100 dollars they each started with.

Jim met his wife, nee Mary Bellacosa, when his cousin brought two girlfriends to visit West Point for blind dates. Jim made sure to get to Mary first, and they were inseparable ever after. They would go on to forge a loving partnership to raise five children, to make a home in six states, and to grow beside one another throughout their lives. Most importantly, as Jim loved to say, Mary was the only person he wanted to end every day with.

During his 20-year military career, Jim served two combat tours. After attending the Defense Language Institute, where he graduated first in his class, he became an advisor to a Vietnamese Army infantry battalion and then the S-3 operations officer in the 7th Air Cavalry Regiment. On his second tour he was the briefing officer for General Creighton Abrams, Commander of the Military Assistance Command Vietnam (MACV). Awarded the Bronze Star, the Joint Service Commendation Medal, the Vietnamese Gallantry Cross and the Meritorious Service Medal, Jim also earned an early promotion to lieutenant colonel and a teaching position in the Military Psychology and Leadership Department at West Point.

On the West Point faculty, Jim was a highly respected and popular professor. He was famous with some (and infamous with others) for always wearing a huge Mickey Mouse watch that Mary gave him so he wouldn’t get too full of himself. He was too busy to do that anyway, volunteering to teach the Academy’s first black studies course and finishing his Ph.D. in organizational behavior at New York University.

Completing his military career as the director of training for the Army’s Organizational Effectiveness program, Jim had an easy transition to his second career. He founded and led a private consulting business focused on team building, leadership, diversity, and personal development. Believing deeply in helping individuals to discover their best and authentic self for professional effectiveness and personal fulfillment, he authored a book, Your Essential Self, that spread his philosophy far and wide.

Jim lived what he taught! He found harmony in the physical, creative, and commercial spheres of his life. He ran five marathons and was an avid golfer. He transitioned from an amateur sculptor to an abstract painter, acquiring what he called a “street peddler” license to sell his paintings at New York City art fairs and gallery exhibits.

Most importantly, he fostered—and was energized by—the lives of his family. Giddily supportive of his wife’s stage roles in theatrical groups at the military posts where they lived, he encouraged her to become a professional actress. After he retired from the military, they moved to New York City, where Mary’s talents were quickly “discovered,” and she appeared in movies and TV shows, ranging from Billions to Orange is the New Black.

Jim and Mary’s five children are following in their parents’ busy lifestyle. Patrick runs marketing and communication businesses in Thailand and Vietnam; Mary Frances founded a corporate wellness firm; Mark and Sean are based in Hong Kong running a flourishing international trading business; and Meaghan heads the New York Times photojournalism department. In Meaghan’s eulogy for her dad, she summed up his life well: “Jim was a formidable man, and not at all uncomplicated. He was also incredibly charming and deeply loyal and affectionate toward those he loved. He placed the highest of values on being a good listener, but, true to his Irish heritage, he was an animated storyteller who enjoyed taking some colorful license. His frequent refrain was ‘All stories are true. Some of them actually happened.’”

To the lasting joy and benefit to family, friends and students, Jim Looram’s story actually happened.

— His family and Charles Welsh ’61